Murder by Thumb

Murder is a pretty harsh word.  I think what I've committed is more akin to manslaughter. Yes, definitely manslaughter. Not murder. Terrible accident. Not intentional. Definitely not intentional. And although I've committed this crime more than once, I'm always very remorseful afterwards.

I'm obviously a perpetrator that cannot be reformed. So the fact of the matter is that potential victims should not be in my presence, should not be left in my care and definitely should not be given to me. It's just best for everyone that way.



Sourced here

My husband, fortunately, does not have this same problem. At all the residences we have inhabited, Sam has managed to keep plush green, manicured lawns, neat hedges and various varieties of non-flowering plants. Granted, the things he is maintaining seem simple, but they are not. He does a great job. I, on the other hand, if left in charge of those same plants, would surely kill them.

I've only ever really owned four plants in my life - and they were all gifts. That makes the guilt of manslaughter much higher. To kill someone's gift can't be very good.

The first plant I slaughtered was a Madonna Lily (think that is what it was called...as you can imagine, I'm not that great with plant names). We received it on our wedding day from Sam's aunt and uncle. This Madonna Lily enjoyed a great life for a couple of weeks while we were away on our honeymoon...but then its life became a struggle. To it's credit, it did its best to survive. I would forget to water it and it would literally droop to the floor. Then I would give it some water and back to life it would spring. This went on for some time until that poor plant decided it had enough of going up and down...and just stayed down :( 

Picture found here. Not what a plant is meant to look like. But it's likely that
a plant of mine would end up looking like this...actually, probably worse.

It was a similar story with a small plant/tree given to us by an aunt and uncle of mine. I don't remember much of this plant, except for the fact that it was outside. I'm not sure if it started off there, or was moved there when all hope was lost. I can vaguely recall Sam's words ringing in my ear, "Did you water it?" Gosh, I can't remember everything.

The last two plants to be killed by me were both given to us by my good friend Geni. She obviously forgot about the first one when she gave us the second one. The first was her and her husband's gift to guests at their wedding - one of those small, beautiful, "impossible to kill" good luck bamboo plants. I kept it in our bathroom at our first home. I was chuffed. It was green and alive and I was doing so well. It was low-maintenance. My kind of plant. Apparently, it has a certain life expectancy...but it didn't quite live that long. I honestly don't know what happened. It just met the same grizzly end as my other plants.

Finally, when we moved into our current home, Geni and Paul gave us a beautiful plant that would flower if treated with love. Geni jokingly (well, I hope it was jokingly) said it would represent our friendship so I was to keep it alive! Again, things started off very well. The plant flowered with beautiful petite pink flowers last July. I took photos. I was so proud. I sent them to Geni! The photos have since been lost because I lost all the data on my phone but believe me when I say, the plant was healthy and gorgeous!

Then suddenly, one day a little bug started eating away at the leaves. But alas, with a friendship at stake, I didn't give up. I asked Sam to save it. And he did. He bought a spray of some sort and sprayed the leaves for me. And slowly, it started to regain its form. Relief.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I then don't know what happened. I kept watering it as per the instructions. It had sunlight. But something went wrong and slowly, it slipped away. It sat in my kitchen for the longest time, obviously not alive but with me unwilling to admit that that was so. Eventually, I knew I had to remove it...and once I did, I messaged Geni to tell her about what I had done. The guilt...it still eats at me. But I think she's still my friend...

Hopefully, we can avoid all pain and suffering in the future by not putting me in charge of any living plants. I'm convinced that I'm the person who could kill a cactus in the desert...

So how about you? Do you have a green or black thumb?